christmas!

christmas time really is the best time of the year. everyone is just a little nicer and more pleasant, even when everthing around them is crazy and hectic. really spending time with the family is great. each year on christmas eve, we play this game where one person hides a pickle ornament on the tree and everyone else has to find it. whoever finds it with the fastest time wins the present. usually it's a game that we can all play together. this year it was a dice game called farkle. ha, i can't explain it so if you haven't heard of it and care that much go google it. so that was fun. then christmas morning, we got up and went to heather and matt's for breakfast. once we came home i planned on taking a nap- i had to wake up a little earlier than i would have liked- but i got distracted as usual and that nap never happened. so we opened presents, watched movies and started to make dinner. i've noticed that the older i get, the less it really feels like it should be christmas. maybe because the time goes by a lot quicker and it's hard to believe that a whole year really has gone by. maybe it's the fact that i expect to be cold and not have to turn the AC on in the car... ha, that could definitely have something to do with it. the weather is still pretty sick.. dark and drizzly and gross. hate it.
anyway... i've quickly adjusted back to the busy life- and when i say busy i just mean working.. cause work doesn't really keep me too busy. i actually had to work on christmas eve- who does that?? it was an even slower day than usual so they let us go at about 3:30. oh well. but i have a few days off and there's not really anybody around, so i'm bored! i finally got to spend time with sam yesterday. if you've ever gotten me to really open up to you, you know that there aren't many people in my life that i really talk to and tell everything to. mostly because most people aren't good listeners. most people have the instinct to relate a personal story and "trump" yours. i hate that. usually when i talk, i talk to vent, not to ask for advice. it's hard to find people that understand that. so anyway, she's one of those people that i really talk to- it was nice just to get caught up on each other's lives..
this week should be good times.. i'm going to charleston for new years eve. then that weekend is the ski trip! i'm excited about that.. not so much about the having to drive up by myself though... i'm not a fan of long drives alone.. but it will be worth it!

DONE!!

so the semester is over and done with.. finally. i didn't do as well as i would have liked- and it's all due to lack of trying! i will do much better from now on. i have to. i started my job this week. so far i haven't really done too much, but i think i will really like it there. this week has been crazy boring on account of my dear best frand not being here. but no worries, i will see her tonight!! EXCITED. i have plenty of energy stored up for it because i've gone to bed around 9:30 every night this week. pretty much out of boredom and plain exhaustion. even though i don't really do anything at work, actually having to get up and go places is a big change for me from just these past few months of unemployment haha. so christmas is less than a week away- yess!! and i still haven't really done any christmas shopping. heheh. i tried to do it on monday when i was with laura (which was completely great considering i haven't hung out with her in monnnnthhsss) but i guess i got distracted by sales and ended up being selfish and buying myself a few things. oopsy. but i guess i can go do that right now...

almost done..

so on tuesday andrea and i randomly decided to pick up and go to charleston. right in the middle of exam week. very responsible, i know. but it was a good time and a nice little stress reliever. i have two more exams- the hardest ones- one tomorrow and one on monday. i'm to the point where as long as i get a c in a&pII i'll be happy. seriously done with that mess. then i start my job, which i'm pretty excited about. i've been unemployed for the past 3-4 months-the first time since i was old enough to have a job. while it was nice to not have responsibilities, the no income part has been the worst. so i'm looking forward to fixing that...

december!!

writing the date on my notes this morning in biology was a little bit of a shock. december already, really?? crazy. so as suspected, option A is no longer an option. which is okay, things happen for a reason and luckily i already know why that didn't happen. i think i've finally figured out my plan for this next semester but i'm not going to specify what it is until everything is finalized. which will hopefully be very soon. but i feel really good about it and think that it is the best thing for me right now.
so, i'm very excited that the weeks of school are winding down- only 2 more days of class!- but i'm not so excited about the work load that that brings.. i have so much to do tomorrow, i don't even want to think about it. but at least i will feel like i accomplished something (hopefully). i'm never very positive when it comes down to finals time, but i have a friend who for some reason believes in me a lot more than i believe in myself. so it's nice when he calms me down saying, stop it, just study, you're going to do great. i've never thought of myself as one that needed that kind of encouragement and support, but i guess i do...
anyway, as a closing remark, i'm just going to say MAN UP. i think everybody can use that (you can take it literally or not), but there are specific people that i'm talking about. they should know who they are. and if not, well just assume i'm talking about you. life is too short to let yourself be stuck in a rut. say what you mean, mean what you say. say what you feel. feel what you say? ha. it doesn't quite work for that one, but you get the point...

"silly boy" the blue van

..saturday?

breaks from school always screw me up on the days of the week... hate that. it's funny how when you actually get up in the morning, opposed to later morning/afternoon, you feel like you've accomplished so much more. even though i didn't really do anything, i feel like it was a productive day. i stayed the night with sam last night- i really do miss hanging out with her. it's rare these days :( we finally went to get her nintendo and poor chris was laid up on the couch with a bum knee. i felt like i hadn't seen him in forever- i miss hanging out with my buddy!! so after we were done pestering him we left. our boring selves laid in bed watching say yes to the dress. still good times all the same.. so anyway, i get up with the intentions of going home, showering, then heading over to the munson's lake house to watch the carolina clemson game with her fam and tara and tony. well, i got home only to be sucked into helping getting christmas decorations out of the attic. i HATE the attic. really really. so after doing that and showering, i for some reason decided it was a good time to clean my room.. so by the time i was done with that the game had already started. so i didn't go. which is okay, because they probably would have just been screaming at the tv since it was such a terrible game... reallyy. i got a nap. which makes me happy. but seriously, i wish someone would turn the heat on in my house. i did nothing but freeze all day. later, h & m came over and we all went to look at the lights at saluda shoals park. fun fun. so later i went over to haleigh's to hang out for a bit.. hilarious people. love em. so i'm home from that and pretty tired. i think it'll be a good night for sleeping haha hopefully...

"sitting, waiting, wishing" jack johnson

happy thanksgiving!

it was a typical thanksgiving, h&m came again this year... and for some reason they thought it would be hilarious to bring up last year. well, we won't go into that but if you know my history of this time last year you know why it was super awkward. i got up, watched a little of the parade then helped mom in the kitchen. food was yummy, family conversation was great. it's always interesting to see the random people that text you on holidays... people you forget you even had in your contact list. anyway, after dinner we watched some episodes of house (that says holiday...) then i was off to babysit. marls called me to tell me she's engaged!!! so exciting. can't wait for bridesmaid dresses... so after a long day and no nap, i'm exhausted.
but since it's thanksgiving, i should probably talk about some of the things i'm thankful for.

awesome friends. great family. the gospel & my testimony. my health. music. technology that allows easy communication. comfortable beds. humor (thats pretty broad, but really. i couldn't live without it...). cameras/pictures. temples. books. the beach & sunshine. alright well, making that list is a little harder than i thought. but those are some basics. hope you all had a wonderful day:)


"rock & roll" by eric hutchinson

well...

so years ago, i used some other online journal type thing, but for some reason i abandoned it. i started getting used to actual journal writing and proudly finished my first one back in september. obviously, i'll keep up with that- i really like it. i guess my intention for this is to be for people who i don't see or talk to very often to know what is going on in my life. (side note: i don't capitalize letters unless i have to.. so if that bothers you, well, too bad.) most of my posts will be late at night as i have, for some reason, forgotten how to sleep like a normal human. also, if you notice that i contradict myself a lot, well, that's just me. just go with it, you may not understand it, but hey, neither do i...

i'm ready for 2009. this year has been one of crazy ups and downs for me. i moved back home after one semester away at college, i made terrible decisions, i spent the whole summer working and planning on a move across the country only to change my mind at the last minute (a decision that although i know is what was best, i still think about pretty much every day), i straightened my life out, i made some really great friends, i drifted away from some old ones. everything happened for a reason and as i often say, i have no regrets. yes, there were some daft moments, but everything i have done has made me who i am today. and i'm pretty much a fan of that lady. so why am i so ready for this year to be over? as of now, i have no idea what my i will be doing with myself next year. i have two options and it is driving me insane not knowing what will pan out. one of my major faults is my impatience. it triggers anxiety and stresses me out. i know i need to work on it. option A will be decided december 1. but at this point i don't have control over what happens with that. it is my favorite option but i don't think it will happen. option B is mostly to occur. what are these options?

A: i applied for a live in nanny job in charleston. random, yes. but the way the opportunity presented itself made it seem like it was the right thing to do. it would be the perfect way for me to be able to move out, yet still make/save money and not pay rent. and if chosen, i would be moving there in january.
B: i will stay here, at home, take my one class this semester and work at the law firm from now through the summer and more than likely move out to utah in the fall.

so it is frustrating to me not knowing where i will end up in just a few months. i like plans. i might not always be the one to make them, but i like having one to follow. but then again, i know i should stop worrying about it and just take each day as they come. the other day i was talking with andrea and baxter about what our super powers would be if we had them. their answers were the usual, invisibility and flying... i stayed quiet, thinking, and finally said, i would be able to freeze time. i think, well, i know, that too often i get so caught up in thinking about the future months ahead of me that i forget to slow down and enjoy the days that i'm letting slip away right now. while i know i need to work on that, i still have this feeling that i don't have much to enjoy right now. i know that's not true. i have really spectacular friendships that get better every day. but in the roughest of times i can't help but have the thought of "i'm trying to do what i know is right, why is nothing working out for me the way i want it to?" thats where faith comes in. and this quote by dieter uchtdorf from this past general conference has been a big help- "with hope comes joy and happiness. with hope we can bear our afflictions." so i can only hope that the end of this year will bring closure and this next year can be the beginnings of something great. i expect nothing less.

ps... i love music and i love sharing it with others.
so, go listen to ray lamontagne. "lessons learned" or "i go all to pieces" or "trouble"
well, he's just pretty great...